Marvin Lewis coming back...I like it!

ESPN’s Adam Schefter reports that the Bengals expect Lewis to remain in Cincinnati, and the two sides expect to resolve any issues within next 24 hours.

Those issues presumably will include improving the team facilities and making some changes to the way personnel decisions are handled. Schefter reported on Sunday that Lewis was ready to leave Cincinnati because he wasn’t satisfied with those aspects of the Bengals organization.

Yes, I want Marvin Lewis back. I know that he's nine games under .500 in his career here, but hear me out.

Marvin Lewis is the only coach in Mike Brown's tenure as owner to ever have any sway, he's the only man that Mike Brown has relinquished ANY control to. Any Bengals fan knows that this organization is screwed up from top to bottom and lacks essentials that the other 31 franchises enjoy. The reason Marvin Lewis didn't sign the extension at the beginning of the season is because Mike Brown wasn't meeting his demands. Yes, DEMANDS. Demands such as an indoor practice facility, control over personelle (both player and coaches) and an expanded front office. If Marvin walks, what makes you think that Mike Brown is going to give any of those things to a new coach? The way I see it, if Marvin walks that means that Mike Brown is unwilling to change, which would make things worse. Is it a match made in heaven? No. Is Marvin perfect? Not at all. However, from an organizational standpoint the Bengals will be making steps that will bring them up to par with the other 31 teams. Things that have needed to change for the past 20 years are going to change. We won't get everything, but it's a start.

Well...

That's all she wrote. I don't care if we "came alive" in the second half. I don't care if you feel better about this team because of it. We're 2-4 through the easiest stretch of this schedule. The 2010 football season for the Cincinnati Bengals has come to an end. Will I watch the games? Of course I will. Do I want them to win? More than anything. However, after years of watching this team continue to fail I've come to realize and understand how my father could turn off the game every Sunday at half time and toss football in the yard with me, without breathing a single word. I've officially run out of things to say. They've lost in every way I could ever imagine, they've done all there is to do (aside from the "winning" part of it). Division titles are fun for a week, Super Bowls live on for a lifetime. This team is not going to get "over the hump". I will no longer spend my Sundays grief stricken. This team will no longer ruin my week. I can't do anything to help them win and I'm not to blame for their losses. I've begged, pleaded and prayed. Being a fan of the NFL franchise located in Cincinnati, Ohio is a burden and I refuse to give them anything more than they've given me.

I'll try to mash together some sort of analysis of the game this week if I can muster up the will to give a rat's ass.

Wow!

What an end to the Redskins v. Cowboys game. That's all I wanted to say.

Beatdown City. Population: Bengals.

Man, that chick looks pissed. That's okay Mrs. Brady, I'm pissed too.

As you may or may not know, the beginning of the 2010 NFL season, for our beloved boys in stripes, started today. Let's get this over with, here's the breakdown for preaseason game number six...er, I mean Week 1:

The Good:

...Actually, I'd rather start with the bad.

The Bad:

The Defense. All last season, save the game against the Bears, we worried about putting points on the board. Mike Zimmer's defense was the foundation on which we built our 2009 AFC North Champion campaign. Every single starter from that defense returned this year, at least their bodies did. I'm not sure where their hearts are, maybe they were lost with their luggage en route to Foxboro, but they sure as hell weren't with them today. Zero sacks and only two hits on Brady. That's not going to cut it. Absolutely no pressure from the front four, which lead to poor play from the rest of the unit. You can't give any QB all day to make a play, especially if that QB is Mr. GQ himself. I can't believe that the Patriots offensive line is that good. Something will have to change between now and 1pm a week from today.

The Offense. Don't throw Palmer's stats at me (34/50, 345 yds, 2 TD, 1 INT), if you throw the ball 50 times there's a problem, especially for this team. They only found their stride once the game was out of hand, simple as that. New England was playing the clock game while we were trying to get within three scores. Someone call Mulder and Skully, Cedric Benson's body has been snatched.

The first five posessions: Punt, Punt, Fumble, Punt, Interception.

The More Badder:

Francisco Cordero. Thanks for snuffing out any hope of salvaging anything positive from my day. Jerk.

The Good:

Well, Nugent hit a 54 yard field goal. We didn't get shut out. Chad had a good game (12 rec, 159 yds, 1 TD). Gresham had a solid rookie debut, reeling in 6 passes for 25 yards and a TD. Shipley showed some promise as well. Perhaps if these young guys can acclimate themselves to NFL speed, the offense can produce a little more.

There's still 15 more regular season games to play.

I'll have an orange mohawk this time next week.

The Reds are still 6 games in first place.

The Goodest:

Washington Redskins cheerleaders. Day-um.

Here's my favorite:

Brittni.

Not because she's the prettiest, but because she spells her name weird, is 21 and yet has been with the team for 4 years and she's a "student" at Catholic University of America, which sounds totally not real at all. I'm not going to Google it, I'd rather believe that it's a fake college like the Univeristy of Phoenix.

I should probably be studying for finals...

It's been nearly four months since I updated, I figure I'm about due. Over the next couple days I'll make updates recapping the past four months and whatever else I want to talk about.

First and foremost, this:



Is there a team in town that does more for their fans than the Cincinnati Cyclones? Since their return to town in 2006 they've produced two Kelly Cups (2008 and 2010), which is exactly two more championships than the Bengals have produced, ever. Now, anyone who knows me knows that the Bengals are by far the #1 team in my heart and that's not going to change, it can't change. The Cyclones simply cannot ever become my favorite team overall, but I certainly love the way they fill that void between football and baseball season. The games are cheap to go to, there's a promotion for every home game ($1 beer night?! YES!) and they put a quality product on the ice. What more could you ask for? They're fun to watch and they win. I don't care if you're not a hockey fan, it doesn't matter. It's a fun night and it's cheap. If you don't go to at least one Cyclones game a year, I'd love to hear your excuse.

Their 2010-2011 season opener is on October 30th at 7:30pm (Saturday night). You have five months, mark it down and go have a good time.

Bengals sign Burt Reynolds.

Well, not exactly, but close. Ladies and gentleman may I present to you Matt Jones, the newest member of the Cincinnati Bengals.

Name: Matt Jones
Height: 6' 6"
Weight: 218

Bio: Former first round draft pick by the Jacksonville Jaguars (2005). Matt enjoys converting third downs, the number six (6 feet, 6 inches and 6 grams of cocaine) and growing a tremendous upper lip Lady Tickler to soak up the blood streaming from his powdered nose.

Giant, metal female anatomy.

What does that trophy look like to you? A giant vagina, perhaps? Yes, it does. The NFL Pro Bowl is by far the worst "All Star" game of any professional sport, so this year they decided to model their trophy with that fact in mind.

That is absolutely the only thing concerning professional football that I have to talk about right meow.