Beatdown City. Population: Bengals.

Man, that chick looks pissed. That's okay Mrs. Brady, I'm pissed too.

As you may or may not know, the beginning of the 2010 NFL season, for our beloved boys in stripes, started today. Let's get this over with, here's the breakdown for preaseason game number six...er, I mean Week 1:

The Good:

...Actually, I'd rather start with the bad.

The Bad:

The Defense. All last season, save the game against the Bears, we worried about putting points on the board. Mike Zimmer's defense was the foundation on which we built our 2009 AFC North Champion campaign. Every single starter from that defense returned this year, at least their bodies did. I'm not sure where their hearts are, maybe they were lost with their luggage en route to Foxboro, but they sure as hell weren't with them today. Zero sacks and only two hits on Brady. That's not going to cut it. Absolutely no pressure from the front four, which lead to poor play from the rest of the unit. You can't give any QB all day to make a play, especially if that QB is Mr. GQ himself. I can't believe that the Patriots offensive line is that good. Something will have to change between now and 1pm a week from today.

The Offense. Don't throw Palmer's stats at me (34/50, 345 yds, 2 TD, 1 INT), if you throw the ball 50 times there's a problem, especially for this team. They only found their stride once the game was out of hand, simple as that. New England was playing the clock game while we were trying to get within three scores. Someone call Mulder and Skully, Cedric Benson's body has been snatched.

The first five posessions: Punt, Punt, Fumble, Punt, Interception.

The More Badder:

Francisco Cordero. Thanks for snuffing out any hope of salvaging anything positive from my day. Jerk.

The Good:

Well, Nugent hit a 54 yard field goal. We didn't get shut out. Chad had a good game (12 rec, 159 yds, 1 TD). Gresham had a solid rookie debut, reeling in 6 passes for 25 yards and a TD. Shipley showed some promise as well. Perhaps if these young guys can acclimate themselves to NFL speed, the offense can produce a little more.

There's still 15 more regular season games to play.

I'll have an orange mohawk this time next week.

The Reds are still 6 games in first place.

The Goodest:

Washington Redskins cheerleaders. Day-um.

Here's my favorite:

Brittni.

Not because she's the prettiest, but because she spells her name weird, is 21 and yet has been with the team for 4 years and she's a "student" at Catholic University of America, which sounds totally not real at all. I'm not going to Google it, I'd rather believe that it's a fake college like the Univeristy of Phoenix.